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Monday, 06 November 2006 01:12

Will Durst: The Demagogic Whistle Stop

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Oh for crum's sake, people. It was a joke! "If you don't study in school you'll end up getting stuck in Iraq." Get it? LIKE THE PRESIDENT! He can't get out of Iraq. He didn't study. He's stuck. John Kerry was talking about George Bush. He wasn't talking about our troops. John Kerry was a troop. Anybody who can't figure that out is either a cynical oaf hiding their scurrilous ass behind the troops or pretending they're dumber than they already are, and from all appearances, the President falls into one of those categories, and if its the latter, that's a very scary proposition indeed.

Right before Senator John Kerry blew the joke about how dumb people get stuck in Iraq, he blew another about how President Bush comes from the state of Texas but now lives in the state of denial. See, its a pattern. That's ostensibly a joke too. Didn't get much of a laugh on that one either. In the "stuck in Iraq" joke, he left out the word "us." it was supposed to be "you'll end up getting US stuck in Iraq," which is funnier on paper especially if you read the "us" as "U.S." making it work on a couple of different levels. Both of which are way beyond the cognitive range of most college students in Pasadena. Which is why only dogs think John Kerry is funny.

Granted. He has the timing of an end table. Part of the problem is even when he tells a joke with all the words intact, it still doesn't sound like a joke. He's just not good at talking. He's good at thinking. Probably reads too. I even bet he studied. But talking; not his strong suit, which, be honest, we've known for some time now. So he botched a joke. The President botched a war. Nobody ended up dead because of Kerry's botch. Except for a few Democratic Congressional campaign managers in Indiana, Pennsylvania and Ohio.

Where is a modern Edward R. Murrow to ask: "at long last Mr Bush, have you no shame?" Because this grasping for the discarded shoe of a verbal slip on the campaign shoulder with election day looming like a stalled 18 wheeler in the fast lane of the voters' windshield is nothing but a cheap expedient political ploy. Earlier on the campaign trail, the President called a vote for the Democrats a vote for the terrorists. Why didn't the fabled liberal media focus on that demagoguery? Because he does it all the time. Not what you call your new news. Kerry, however, was fresh meat so the media voraciously jumped so far down his throat, all you could see coming out of his mouth was the cuffs of their pants and the soles of their shoes, being the only souls they possess. A joke that doesn't work on paper.

And even though he's being attacked for something he didn't mean to do, I'm still pissed at Kerry for falling into the trap. For proving to the whole world the ultimate Democrat is able to screw up an election they're not even running in. I just hope and pray this thing comes back to bite Bush in the butt bad. That the American people studied. And by keeping Iraq in the spotlight, those same plenty smart Americans will be reminded how this administration lied and spied and stole and sold and cheated and tortured and killed and ignored intelligence and promoted incompetence and defied international cooperation and incited religious intolerance and eschewed bipartisanship and exploited the very same troops they pretend to be offended on behalf of and that, my friends, is no joke. Go vote.

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Comic, writer, actor, commentator, apprentice pundit, Will Durst, thinks its amusing that both parties are running from their 04 nominees with equal alacrity. Catch Durst in stand up mode at the Huckleberry House benefit at Bimbo's in San Francisco next Thursday. 415.668.2622.

And listen to his bi- weekly commentaries @ audible.com/durst.

Read 226 times Last modified on Monday, 06 November 2006 01:12