Welcome to Round One Game Two of BuzzFlash's Republican Race to the Bottom. Here's how to play: Vote for the worse of the two contenders on the left. Vote by marking the circle next to the contender you dislike more, and click "Vote." A winner will be declared at midnight tonight. (If you can't see the poll, please upgrade to Internet Explorer 8, or try Firefox.)
The winner will advance to the next round of the Sour Sixteen, with a chance to become this year's worst conservative. Click here for more about the Race to the Bottom. Click here to see the full bracket, which you can fill out to play along at home.
Dick "Secret Location" Cheney
Running on the heart/pacemaker that will not die, Dick Cheney's Darth Vader routine was strong enough to make him the other #1 seed. Cheney also derives power from longevity, going back to his days of working for Gerald Ford.
The money Cheney made off Halliburton while acting as vice president. The votes against Head Start and Nelson Mandela. Going against his own stance on Saddam Hussein from his days as Secretary of Defense. The man-sized safe. This is a lot of evil.
We wondered if Cheney would even make it to the event, but as we saw over the weekend on CNN, he hasn't lost a step at being clueless and evil -- even within the same sentence.
Newt "The Contract-er" Gingrich
Known for his Contract
with on America, Newt Gingrich is a powerful force that will not die, even contemplating a 2012 presidential run. Don't let the #8 seed fool you: if it weren't for Gingrich, the GOP might not have taken the House, and legislation to strip down the Glass-Stegall Act might not have ever happened.
But can Gingrich handle the pressure of going up against the Evil One? After all, we saw back in 1995 that sitting in the back of Air Force One made him cranky. While Gingrich has shown instability in past battles, his lasting power and well in-demand punditry on cable news talk shows makes him a dangerous foe. Gingrich has been calling for tax cuts, long after they were chic, and his latest idea is to pay teenage girls not to have sex.
RESULTS JUST IN FROM ROUND ONE:
By your votes, Rove walloped John McCain 93% to 7% in Round One of the BuzzFlash March GOP Madness Tournament. (Voting for Round One was on March 16th.)