A Tale Of Two Headlines
by Tony Peyser
1) Marines have been "involuntarily recalled"
In this botched terror war, yet another blot
2) Prozac-hating couch jumping Tom Cruise
Has been pink-slipped at the Paramount lot.
Tom needs a challenge and he's only 44
So, here is my "Mission: Impossible" plan:
He defended Marines in "A Few Good Men"
Why not fight with them in Afghanistan?
Tom's star is waning, he has nothing to lose
This should be the prevailing psychology
If he gets hurt, his films will be worth more
A boon to his beloved Scientology.
His agents and lawyers and managers
May malign me for being uncouth
But they're blinded by his fading fame
And just can't handle the truth.
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