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Thursday, 24 August 2006 01:59

A Tale Of Two Headlines - Verse-Case Scenario

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A Tale Of Two Headlines

by Tony Peyser

1) Marines have been "involuntarily recalled"
In this botched terror war, yet another blot
2) Prozac-hating couch jumping Tom Cruise
Has been pink-slipped at the Paramount lot.

Tom needs a challenge and he's only 44
So, here is my "Mission: Impossible" plan:
He defended Marines in "A Few Good Men"
Why not fight with them in Afghanistan?

Tom's star is waning, he has nothing to lose
This should be the prevailing psychology
If he gets hurt, his films will be worth more
A boon to his beloved Scientology.

His agents and lawyers and managers
May malign me for being uncouth
But they're blinded by his fading fame
And just can't handle the truth.

* * *

Tony Peyser provides daily poems and weekly cartoons for BuzzFlash and also writes the new BuzzFlash column, "Blue State Jukebox." He was a daily cartoonist for the L.A. Times from 1994 to 1997. You can contact Tony via email at This email address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it. .

BuzzFlash Cartoons by Tony Peyser are © Tony Peyser. Contact Tony for reprint permissions.