Calling All Struggling Writers!
by Tony Peyser
Stop working on that unfinished novel
Or trying to devise a play like Ibsen
Right now's the perfect time for you
To get your screenplay to Mel Gibson.
If you're Jewish, you've got it wired
If you're not, this can still work out fine:
Just change your last name to something
That sounds Jewish like Goldman or Klein.
Don't let the idea of this big deception
Make you feel at all worried or skittish
(In your cover letter, be sure to use
Some colorful phrases in Yiddish.)
Normally, Gibson would blow you off
He's an anti-Semite with a short fuse
But he must read your _ _ _ _ ing script
Since he trashed all the _ _ _ _ing Jews.